its a sad realization that i get every 4-5 months that i have a blog (in fact pay for a domain and web-space) which i seldom update. today its like 10:30 pm and i’ve made up my mind that i’m going to make a blog post even if it turns out to be unreadable. couldn’t think of a title and i’ve named it “unnamed”, how much more boring it could get!.

i’ve got a few options now. think of something technical, an issue i solved lately or some random technology i read about (like the ipad? ) and write something about it. but not feeling excited about the idea of doing that. even though its a fact that the 7-8 visitors i get daily (yeah you read it right, that’s it!) are the ones who search for my post on fixing webcam issue or generating combinations in PHP, i feel i should write some thing that i can read after years and feel good about or at least invoke some nostalgia.

so the next option would be to write about what has been happening in my life, my work, what’s going good, and what’s going extremely good etc. but i don’t know, i think i’ve become internet shy. i don’t feel like expressing myself or about my life in the internet anymore. i do use facebook or orkut, but only to see updates of my friends, their pictures, their activities etc, but i rarely update anything about myself or do any activity on it (apart from being addicted to farmville till i reached level 20 and it started becoming damn slow and i lost interest). i get a feeling, nah why would people want to read that, or hmm why the hell do they need to know of it!

after about thinking for 15 minutes now, i am able to come up with an option that would help me fill this blog post. since i used the word nostalgia a few minutes ago, i got a bit nostalgic and thought of writing something that i can remember about my school days. i do remember lot of things in my high school but i felt like recollecting things like in my primary school. the most memorable incidents i can remember of school life is getting on to the stage and presenting something in the assembly or for some CCA (co curricular activity). in my 12 years of school life maybe i would’ve gone on stage like 15 times. but each one of them were equally scary and exciting. the farthest i can think of is when i was in 3rd or 4th standard, that’ll be like 1994, thats like 16 years ago!!. i was asked to give a speech about Indira Gandhi on her birthday. My Dad being a good speaker, wrote me the complete speech. I still remember it had sentences like “Indira Gandhi helped in uplifting the downtrodden”. I don’t think i really understood at that age what that really meant. Dad even told me on which words to give stress on, how to stand on the stage and how to present it well. I practiced like lots and was all set for the speech day.

So it was time to present the speech. it was not exactly a stage but a small platform (i guess the platform is still there in front of our school, even though the place we used to have assembly has been occupied by big gardens! ), made in front of the school to hoist the flag. I started off with the words that anybody can utter any day (because its something that we heard everyday in the assembly) – “Respected Teachers and my Dear friends, today i’m going to present before you a speech about Indira Gandhi”. then silence. my mind went blank, i couldn’t remember anything, it was the first time my voice was being amplified through the mic. it was so weird to hear myself so loud enough that even people on the road could hear me! i try to speak and the voice won’t come out, hands and legs start to shiver. what was the first line, yes i can remember the down trodden line but what was the first line!. .. and so it was time to switch to plan B. thank god i had the speech neatly written and kept in my pocket, i wonder what i would’ve done if i didn’t have it with me, maybe i would’ve given up and just walked off, and later to feel humiliated and get bashing from the teachers?. omg!.. without no more hesitation took the paper out from my pocket and read the entire speech without any breaks!. even though during the speech many times i felt my throat go dry and wished i could get some water, i managed to finish it. and then the clap followed. not really because they listened or appreciated the speech, but because they do that automatically they hear the “Thank You” after every talk on the stage. But it was a relief, felt good. Mission Accomplished! oh yes, the mission to write a blog post too accomplished. even better, i got a title for the blog post too! – Mission Accomplished.

Tags: nostalgia, Personal, school

as i think of writing this post, my hair is dangling over my eyes. no its not because its long, but that hair is falling. i guess its the dandruff. when it comes to cosmetics, taking care of your body, i would be the worst person. gone are those days when i used to take cutticura powder and put it on my face before i rush to school. now my face is all rugged with the post-pimple gutters that putting powder is not a good idea. i really miss the days when you were a care-free child and you don’t have to think about washing your clothes (my clothes are still in the washing machine i need to put them into the drier) or which place to go for food. there was no need to search for a good malayalee mess. home itself was a 5 star hotel were you had all luxury of having food at any time you want and that too the food you like the most.

all these thoughts are making me nostalgic. everybody in their life would be feeling this. when they have to live alone depending on themselves. even though you earn a lot, not sure what to do with it or how to enjoy it. i still remember i used to collect money little by little and then buy some computer accessory. and the happiness you get at that time was awesome. it was a long wait and getting the thing you wanted. hmm, gone are those days. i just bought a 2.1 speaker last week. didn’t have to struggle to get money to buy it.. just a swipe of the credit card. now the speaker is in my front but i don’t feel the same happiness that i got when i bought it when i was at home. life is a big mystery. you never know what you really want in your life. is it money, is it lots of property? lots of happiness? lots of kids!?!? what’s it actually. ok let me not go into that infinite loop which doesn’t bring any answer.

i just opened this blog today and realized that i had written something only long time back. reading them i felt as if “did i really write them”. it was weird. . i sometimes feel that i can just start writing a novel. i feel like thoughts just flow from my mind. but it seems they are very random thoughts which any tom dick and harry can write. you talk about the tree then the apple then newton then mango then mango juice! what’s the fun in that? maybe some random freaky guy would enjoy reading it.

Tags: Personal, random

Long time since i blogged (which is no more a new thing). The no. of visitors to this blog is also going down, perhaps there’s no-more useful/interesting things out here. Added Y! PingBox to the blog, which lets visitors of the blog ping me if i’m online. But then you can always ask the question there are no visitors to this blog and who’s gonna ping you! quite true.

Life has been very monotonous. When i entered the IT industry about an year and a half back, had great expectations and was so much excited. all the excitement and enthusiasm are coming down, not really able to find what i really wanted. Oops, do i sound like desperate? No, i’m not, ok!!.

Yahoo! is a great company. There are many things i love about Yahoo!. For instance, the way information is free and accessible in Yahoo! is awesome. I get to interact with the GODs of the internet. I work for the Yahoo! Sports team. I do QA (testing). The Y! Sports development team is one of the best teams in entire Yahoo. Those guys really breath-eat-drink-sleep writing amazing code. They are pioneers in the latest of web technologies, whether it be high performance web-pages or flex or anything and everything.

KTHXBYE!

Tags: job, Personal, pingbox, yahoo, yahoo sports